Ding dong merrily on high, fa-la-la-la-la-laaaa-la

[r_vecchio]

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In November ynez_castillo and I robbed a bank (-50 points). In April I caught a purse-snatcher who stole will_porter's purse (30 points). In June I gave in_a_chinashop a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points). In August I bought porn for ray__k (-10 points). Last month I stole onewingbloody's purse (-30 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-65 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal! Sincerely, r_vecchio

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Coal? But I bought Kowalski porn... why's that a negative??

Comments

[in-a-chinashop.livejournal.com]

What? That's... different.

I've never had somebody insert their moist finger into my ear. Is it meant to be pleasant? Would I bemoan its loss?

(ooc: Enjoy your lie in. *looks at clock and does zombie impression* If you or Ray are reading anything into what Ren says, its entirely in your own minds. Ren's as innocent as fresh snow ;P)

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

You know exactly what! Don't make me use unhappy face... Not really. You do it as a kid.

No, it's not meant to be pleasant. Oh, God. You being the freak you are, would probably like it but no, most people do not welcome them.

[ooc: aww! have fun at work! say hi to ur one-eyed cat! Innocent, yeeaahh... fresh snow that's fallen about a hundred thousand times!]

[in-a-chinashop.livejournal.com]

I'm sure that's not necessary I didn't do it as a child.

The ear is an erogenous zone, Ray. Perhaps "most people" are lying.

(ooc: Was dying to make this reply this morning, but stupid work got in the way *kicks work*)

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

It will be necessary if you don't think about what you're saying before you say it. That's 'cause you're Canadian. And a Mountie. And Turnbull. There's three reasons why you wouldn't have done it as a kid.

It is? Jesus Christ. Well, I don't do it anymore. Luckily.

[ooc: lol! *loves Ren* How was work? Haven't been online all day so im catching up on a whole LJ day ive missed!!]

[in-a-chinashop.livejournal.com]

If I did that I probably wouldn't ever say anything. It seems that my childhood was deprived of such high jinks.

I think you should, you might find that get a different reaction from when you were a child.

(ooc: I don't think he's actually familiar with the concept of subtle o_O Work was good, as work goes, but still managed to come home pissy, I blame the 4 hours sleep... However, Ren is a guarenteed pick me up, along with wikipedia telling me "Also, driving the tongue straight into the ear canal is a fairly safe form of penetration,". Ren is making disturbing pretty please faces at me XD)

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

That has its merits... High jinks? No. Not high jinks. It was just something you did, like a given. Bet you say around watching snow melt, huh?

@_@ That's my face, Turnbull. There will be no sticking anything...anywhere, ear or otherwise. Jeez, Turnbull, control yourself, will ya? You're making me kinda nervous.

[ooc: That really really is Ray's face! And he's telling me to yell at Ren "FINGER! FINGER!! NO TONGUE INVOLVED! No...no penetration...*shivers in fright*" I wanna get Ren drunk at the dinner!!! D'you think we could do that?! But no..high jinks!]

[in-a-chinashop.livejournal.com]

If that's how you would prefer it, Ray








(ooc: Hahahaha! He's pouting now. Its a very sly looking pout, though... I think getting him drunk would be wonderful. Its up to Ray to deflect the... high jinks though ;P)

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Aw, fuck. Moody Mountie, great.

You can talk, Ren. Just...careful what you talk about, okay?

[ooc: I actually dropped my banana on the floor when I saw that!! That was sooooo hilarious! But you owe me a banana since it was my last one.. And yes, let's get Ren drunk! Hopefully he's lightweight 'cause it takes quite a lot now to get Ray drunk, so maybe Ray'll stay more or less sober. And he's putting his deflection armour on RIGHT NOW! :) hahaha]

[in-a-chinashop.livejournal.com]

Really, Ray, there's no need for that kind of language.

I'll make an effort to censor myself in future, if that will make you feel more comfortable.

To answer your question, there isn't always snow covering the whole of Canada. Weather in Alberta fluctuates, so no, I didn't spend all my leisure time watching snow melt.

(ooc: I made you drop your banana! Cool! Uh, sorry 'bout that... I bet Ren hasn't eaten all day in anticipation for this meal. Watch the wine go straight to his head.)

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Right. Sorry.

So you do spend some of your time. Okay. Can you drive, Ren?


[ooc: Aw, he's calling him Ren again now, Phew!. Posting tag very soon, "spot!" ahahahaha!! and yes, Ren needs to give Ray a banana to hand to me!]

[in-a-chinashop.livejournal.com]

That's ok ^_^

It's very therapeutic, some people pay large sums of money to indulge in such opportunities for self reflection.

No, I can't.

(ooc: I love the Turnbull/Ren mood switching. *looks around room and grabs half eaten chocolate bar* Yes, Ren, I know that a banana is far more healthy, but I don't have a banana to give her....)

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Yay? ^_^?

They do? Hey, I just sleep, that's enough therapy for me. But tell the Dinosaur Guy that.

Why haven't you learnt?

[ooc: I'm trying to convince Ray to give Ren a driving lesson in the Riv now, but he's having none of it... I'll keep trying though... Yes! Gimme the chocolate bar! Gimme, hand it over! Ta, Ray...ewwww, it's half eaten? Naught man Vecchio! Uh, he's saying you ate the other half but I don't believe him...]

[in-a-chinashop.livejournal.com]

Sorry, it just slipped out.

Then you are one of the fortunate, Ray. He's only doing his job

I never needed to drive in Coaldale, there was a perfectly good public transport system, or I walked. The idea of learning to drive on Chicago roads scares me a little.

(ooc: Go on Ray! You know you want to really! Phew! I thought you might be one of those freaks who don't like chocolate for a moment then.... Uh... *elbows Ren before he says anything*)

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

I said I sleep, Ren. Didn't tell you how long for or how well. Stupid job if you ask me.

Why's it scare ya? Okay, yeah, I can see why it'd scare you. You just need a good teacher, Ren. And a lot of insurance.

[ooc: I actually really love the idea of Ray teaching Ren how to drive, perhaps we could RP it after the dinner's done? Providing I give Ray just enough time to get over that trauma... No way, chocolate, gimme! Chocolate and bananas...GIMMEGIMMEGIMME!]

[in-a-chinashop.livejournal.com]

Do you have difficulty sleeping, Ray? I, for one, won't be investing much effort into defending mental health "professionals".

Insurance is something that I can afford. Where can I find a good driving instructor?

(ooc: That's fair, if Ray's gonna have a traumatic dinner, Ren can learn to drive. I can see him shaking already. Can't promise it won't be traumatic - in a different way - for Ray though...)

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

You really gotta ask? See? Glad we agree.

Uh... I'll see who I can find for ya.

[ooc: lol! it'd be so fun!!! even if Ray did never ever speak to me again! Just, make sure Ren's careful with the Riv, will you?]

[in-a-chinashop.livejournal.com]

I take it that's a "yes"? Have you tried warm milk before bed? I find that often helps me when I have difficulty sleeping.

Thank you Ray.

(ooc: I don't think I can make any promises, I seem to have trouble controlling what Ren does...)

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Warm milk before bed? Ren, I'm nearly 38, not 12. And I think it's gone a little further than the 'warm milk' stage.

Why d'you have difficulty sleeping? Please tell me it's not 'cause you're thinking about a certain guy.

[ooc: Not the Riv! Anything but the Riv! You realise how hard it was to find a fourth one?!?!?!!?]

[in-a-chinashop.livejournal.com]

Milk contains melatonin and tryptophan, both of which are conjunctive to a good nights sleep, and the routine relaxes you through subconscious memories of childhood. What keeps you awake, Ray?

I don't have more difficulty than normal for most people. Some nights, my mind just takes a while to shut down. As you brought it up, thinking about him, as such, can also help me relax and sleep

(ooc: Ray brought it up! Don't blame Ren. He thought deeply about that reply before making it, honest. I wonder just how many Rivs there are in the whole world....)

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

The hell? I'm not even gonna go there. Plenty of things keep my awake, too much stuff to list in one comment. Just, I'd kill for a good nights sleep, y'know? Just one.

I didn't know it was possible for you to shut down. How can thinking of that relax you?! On second thoughts, do I really wanna know?

[ooc: lol, deepthinking!Turnbull, heh. Don't go getting any ideas about blowing up this fourth Riv, NO WAY! Nu uh. Nope. Nada. Never. Ever. Noooooooooo!]

[in-a-chinashop.livejournal.com]

I'm just pointing out that you don't have to be 12 for milk to be effective. Perhaps your councillor will help you take a few weights off your mind, Ray. In the meantime, think of the colour yellow when you go to bed, maybe that will help.

Sometimes I even manage to shut down whilst still on my feet - it's called sentry duty. No, I don't believe you do want to know.

(ooc: am having a friend over for dinner, so if Ren's slow on the uptake it's coz I'm showing them my fish... And not getting drunk and making my guest uncomfortable. Blowing it up never even crossed my mind... Now it is ;P)

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Yellow. Right, thanks for the tip, Turnbull.

Yeah, I so don't envy you that. *groan*

[ooc: ahahahahaha! hope you're having fun!! no, no, uncross it from your mind! now! Uncross it now!! ...*whimper*]

[in-a-chinashop.livejournal.com]

Glad to be of help ^_^

Still, I prefer it over meeting and greeting the general public. What now? I did as you wished and avoided giving you too much information...

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Resist! You give in to temptation real easy, don't ya?

What's up with meet and greet? I did it for Fraser once..actually, yeah, that wasn't so much fun. But I would've thought you'd be into that. Saying I wouldn't wanna know makes my mind wander and I don't like wandering minds.

[in-a-chinashop.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry! Happy face is my weakness!

I do enjoy interaction with the public, but I don't enjoy watching their faces glaze over when all I'm attempting to do is be helpful. People would rather I just smile vacantly and "keep it short". It gets quite demoralising. *sighs* Very well. Remember that you asked. It is not so much the thinking about him that relaxes me, as the overall feeling of being completely spent after I've finished thinking about him.