Ding dong merrily on high, fa-la-la-la-la-laaaa-la

[r_vecchio]

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In November ynez_castillo and I robbed a bank (-50 points). In April I caught a purse-snatcher who stole will_porter's purse (30 points). In June I gave in_a_chinashop a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points). In August I bought porn for ray__k (-10 points). Last month I stole onewingbloody's purse (-30 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-65 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal! Sincerely, r_vecchio

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Coal? But I bought Kowalski porn... why's that a negative??

Comments

[ray--k.livejournal.com]

I think porn is a good thing. I think you'd get great presents for buying me porn.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you would've thought so, wouldn't you. Guess Santa isn't the kinky type.

Great, so porn from me, what do I get from you?

[ray--k.livejournal.com]

Uh... porn in exchange? That sounds festive to me. A porn exchange.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Sounds good. But uh, would I be buying you, y'know, Playboy or uh, Playgirl..? Please God, say Playboy 'cause I don't have a fucking clue how I'd buy gay porn.

[ray--k.livejournal.com]

Aw, Jesus, Vecchio. I still like women. Just, y'know, Fraser, too.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

So Fraser's like the exception to the rule?

Don't think he's ever been a centerfold so I'm gonna go with the regular porn.

[ray--k.livejournal.com]

Fraser and Steve McQueen.

*snort* No, I don't think he has been. Regular porn works for me.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, the...dick pic, right? Gotcha.

Regular porn, okay. Consider it done.

[ray--k.livejournal.com]

I never saw that picture 'till I was older and it scared the shit out of me.

Hey, we're doing good with this Christmas thing.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

'Cause you realized you liked the photo? Jesus Christ, what a way to figure it out.

Yeah, we are. We'll be throwing fucking birthday parties for each other before you know it. You know what I really want? Just, my own place. That's it. I get that sorted asap and I'll be merrier than Christmas.

[ray--k.livejournal.com]

I guess. Sorta. Man, why do we always end up having these conversations?

You think your mum and Frannie will be okay with you movin' out?

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Because deep and meaningful comes so easy to us? Maybe it's destiny.

Frannie will be, yeah, 'cause she'll have a place to go when Maria and Tony get too much. And I'm pretty sure my room will be her walk-in wardrobe within a week. My Ma's a different story. She wants her kids around her, real Italian like that. Which is why, y'know, the faster the better, before I change my mind.

[ray--k.livejournal.com]

Destiny? Jesus, lucky us.

Yeah, but you gotta get out on your own eventually. I mean, you were in Florida. Did she hate that?

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Least Fraser'll be happy.

Every second. But she hated it more when I was in Vegas, obviously. It's the whole man of the house syndrome. My dad died so it was me. Now I'm going and since my brother's not here, it's gonna be, oh God, it's gonna be Tony. That's hilarious.

[ray--k.livejournal.com]

That we talk about deep and meaningful crap like Steve McQueen and the picture that made me kinda bent?

Your sister's husband? Hell, Frannie's more the man of the house than he is.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Nah, that we talk. Period. Without shooting each other or knocking each other out. I think you oughta let me take a swing at you though, since I'm down one.

Now she's pregnant she's even more...territorial, I guess would fit. Tony doesn't stand a chance, he's not a Vecchio born and bred.

[ray--k.livejournal.com]

How're you down one?

Hey, she tell you who the father is? I mean, no matter how many times I ask she just gives me this look like I'm sayin' some sweet and pants my hand.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Bullpen? You had a shot at me, only fair the favor gets returned.

No, she's playing the Virgin Mary, immaculate conception crap. I swear, I ever get my hands on the guy who knocked her up, it's not gonna be pretty.

[ray--k.livejournal.com]

Hey, but I didn't take the shot.

Yeah, she said the same thing to me. That's pretty freaking sleazy of that guy, whoever he is. You do somethin' like that, you take care of it. You're there for them, y'know?

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

But you woulda done, right?

Yeah, well, she's keeping it zipped so there's nothing I can do. Unless the jerk's stupid enough to show up again. You didn't see her hanging round with anyone? No dates she mentioned? All I got is Turnbull but I'm not even gonna go there.

[ray--k.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I probably woulda.

Turnbull wouldn't be stupid enough to do that. He's pretty much a nutcase, but he ain't that stupid. Least, I pray for his own sake that he's not.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Doesn't surpise me but I guess I appreciate your honesty.

D'you think he even knows how to do that? Why're you praying that he's not that stupid? Frannie may be high maintanence as hell but she's still my sister. Turnbull could find a lot worse than her.

[ray--k.livejournal.com]

For his own safety, I'm praying he didn't do anything stupid. 'Cause after you were through with him, I dunno how much would be left for me to push around.

He could do a hell of a lot worse than Frannie. But, way I see it? Whoever got her pregnant didn't even bother to stick around, so they ain't even tryin' to see how good it could be.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's possible to push around a hat.

Frannie didn't deserve that but she's having a kid so..she's happy, I guess. She doesn't really realize how tough it'll be being a single mom though. Not that I'd know about that but, y'know, hard.

[ray--k.livejournal.com]

Well, she's got family. That's a big support a lot of single mums don't get. She's got your mum and you and your sister and Tony and, uh... me. I know I'm not family, but... well, y'know, you get close.