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r_vecchio“Raymond, it’s good to see you again.”
“Yeah, pleasure’s all mine. Can we get this over with please?”
“I missed you last week. Sarah said you called to let us know you wouldn’t be coming. That you were sick with something.”
“Well, she must be right, huh?”
“We’re you sick?”
“Does it matter? I’m here now.”
“We’re supposed to be honest with each other, Raymond.”
“Thought you were gonna call me Ray?”
“Ray.”
“…Fine. I was sick. A week before, this guy had kept askin’ me stupid questions, made me chew my own ear off for an hour and I bust a gut trying not to floor him.”
“…”
“What? You asked for the truth. …Don’t give that look. I hate that look. You look like my mother when you do that.”
“Let’s start again.”
“Let’s.”
“Maybe you could humor me a little here?”
“I’ll do what I can, doc.”
“Well, I don’t expect miracles. …I missed you last week, Ray. We’re you sick?”
“Nope.”
“Why didn’t you keep your appointment with me?”
“Work. I was on a case, took longer than we thought. ’Course it wouldn’t have taken so long if they’d sent me out with the rest of the guys. You know I haven’t handled my own collar since I’ve been back. Does that sound fair to you?”
“Who are the rest of the guys?”
“Aw, why am I even askin’ you? It doesn’t sound fair. You wanna know why? ‘Cause it’s not. That’s why. What?”
“You mentioned the rest of the guys. Who do you mean by that?”
“Welsh sent out three detectives. Huey, Dewey and uh, Kowalski.”
“Do you all work together?”
“No, not - not normally. Officially, Huey and Dewey are partners.”
“Kowalski?”
“He doesn’t have an official partner as far as I’m aware.”
“And this would be…bear with me just one moment…uh, the detective who- ah yes, Detective Raymond Kowalski who-”
“Stanley.”
“Excuse me?”
“His name is Stanley Kowalski.”
“L-like the…”
“Marlon Brando, yes. What, that’s not in your pile of notes there?”
“It’ll be in the official files, of course but I’m working from hand-written notes at the moment.”
“And you can’t read your own writing?”
“…”
“…”
“Ray, please refrain from lying on the furniture during our conversations.”
“Jeez, sorry, thought you were a shrink.”
“And open your eyes.”
***
“Okay, let me just go through this again. Ray Kowal-”
“Stanley. Stanley Kowalski. How many times do I have to tell you ‘til you get it right?”
“But he goes by the name Raymond.”
“So? That’s not his name.”
“Fine. To avoid any unnecessary confusion I’ll refer to him as Detective Kowalski. Now when you went undercover, the Chicago PD brought in Detective Kowalski to protect your identity.”
“So they tell me.”
“He used to be married to…wait a second, he used to be married to-”
“Stella. They used to be married.”
“The mother of? Oh. And when you returned from Las Vegas you met Ms Kowalski and…initiated some sort of-”
“We got together, yes. Why’re you doin’ this? You know all this.”
“You must admit it can become quite confusing.”
“Well, you oughta try living it.”
“And Detective Kowalski, how did he react to his ex-wife and you becoming close?”
“Don’t have a clue. He was in Canada, we were in Florida.”
“Canada?”
“With Fraser. On some kinda trekking, discovery sorta thing. Don’t really wanna talk about it.”
“Why not?”
“’Cause I don’t like thinking about it. That good enough a reason for ya?”
“Does it have something to do with what you were telling me before? When you said you felt replaced?”
“Hey, I never said that!”
“If I remember correctly you said that ‘I knew I’d be replaced at the 2-7. That was temporary, I was okay with that. But with Fraser, I never thought,’ and then you swore. I neglected to jot that down for obvious reasons an-”
“D’you know how disconcerting it is hearing you repeat everything I say?”
“No, I probably don’t. I’ve never been on the receiving end of it.”
“You should try it. It’s a riot. You gotta write it all down?”
“Only the parts I think are important.”
“…Your accent sucks.”
***
“You’re really not going to talk to me anymore?”
“No.”
“May I ask why?”
“You’re the one with the doctorate here, you tell me.”
“Did I say something wrong?”
“…”
“I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me, Ray.”
“…”
“Right, I’m going to have to write this down.”
“You touch that pen to paper and I swear I’ll hit you upside the head.”
“…”
“Oh, hello, Ma. You’re doing it again. …You asked me if I’d ever thought about calling Kowalski…Ray. Jesus.”
“That’s why you’re not talking to me?”
“Do not frustrate me, doc.”
“I simply meant that it may…help your relationship if you were to call him by the name he’s chosen.”
“Relationship? We don’t have a relationship. You’re seriously barkin’ up the wrong tree there, pal.”
“I can’t see it doing any harm. Especially if your Lieutenant goes ahead and partners you two up like you say he might.”
“Like I say I dread.”
“Ray, I have to be honest with you. From what you’ve told me, I can see no real reason why you’d have such a - negative reaction towards him. Unless there’s something you’re not telling me.”
“Can’t think of anything.”
“…Nothing to do with Fraser?”
“Why would you think that?”
“He seems to center around some of your other issues so I thought I’d ask.”
“…No. Nothing to do with Fraser.”
***
“Just out of interest, what does he call you?”
“To my face or behind my back?”
“To your face.”
“Vecchio. Why?”
“And you call him Stanley.”
“Stanley or Kowalski. Depends on what kinda mood I’m in.”
“Depends on how much you want to annoy him?”
“That too.”
***
“How will you feel if Lieutenant Welsh goes ahead and puts you and Detective Kowalski together?”
“Before or after I’ve topped myself?”
“Before, preferably.”
“Not much I could do about it, is there? So it doesn’t matter how I’ll feel about it.”
“I’m sure if you’re that adamantly against the idea you could explain to Lieuten-”
“No.”
“No? So you do want to be partnered with him?”
“Did I say that?”
“Well, what do you want?”
“In an ideal situation?”
“If you like.”
“…Things to go back to how they were. Before Vegas, before Kowalski, before Stella. Ideal situation would be for me to go back.”
“When you worked with Fraser?”
“Yeah. We were partners.”
“And now?”
“I dunno.”
“Does he still liaise with the Chicago Police Department?”
“Yeah, when the Dragon La- uh, his superior doesn’t have him running errands or playing toy soldier outside the Consulate.”
“Are he and Detective Kowalski still unofficially partnered?”
“You gotta be kidding me. Oh, you mean at work? …Yeah.”
“How else could I have meant?”
“Forget it. I uh, misunderstood the question.”
***
“Okay, Ray, we’re going to play a game.”
“Do I look six years old to you?”
“Do you need me to answer that?”
“Is it tag?”
“No. It’s a quick thinking game. I’m going to say the names of the people you mentioned so far, one after the other and you’re going to allocate them a number between one and ten.”
“That’s not a game, that’s a math test.”
“You can repeat numbers if you wish. The number is based on your initial reaction to them and we compare the results at the end. The point of the exercise is to answer on the spot, no hesitation. Do you understand?”
“Ready and raring, doc.”
“Okay. Lieutenant Welsh.”
“Five.”
“Francesca.”
“Five.”
“Detective Huey.”
“Five.”
“Ray.”
“Y’mean Stanley?”
“No, I mean you. You can’t just keep saying five for every name. It defeats the object of the exercise.”
“Right, so I actually gotta think. Fine. Okay, start again. Let’s see how much I like ‘em.”
“Lieutenant Welsh.”
“Five.”
“Francesca.”
“Six.”
“Detective Huey.”
“Four.”
“Constable Fraser”
“Seven.”
“Seven? I thought he was your friend.”
“He is. But when you’re in a life or death situation with him, staring down the barrel of a gun and he throws his hat, then and only then do you get to judge.”
“…Right. Good. Okay, we’ll continue. Detective Dewey.”
“One.”
“Detective Kowalski.”
“Five.”
“Stella.”
“…”
“Ray? Stella.”
“I don’t feel like playing anymore.”
“…Okay. I think we’ve discovered enough. You know, it’s interesting to see that you gave Detective Kowalski a five, when you gave a friend a seven.”
“I’ve already explained that.”
“And you don’t think there’s anymore to it?”
“…”
“Don’t make me hypnotize you again, Ray.”
“Look. I know Kowalski is a good cop, okay? He probably saved my ass six ways from Sunday a hundred times and he did his job. So that’s where three of his points come from.”
“That still puts him above Detective Dewey.”
“Yeah well, Dewey’s a jerk. Grade A moron. I’d put most of the clowns that come through the 2-7 above him.”
“I take it you don’t like him.”
“What part of moron did you find difficult to understand?”
“Do you like anybody, Ray?”
“Our blossoming friendship seems to be dying a slow and painful death if that’s what you’re getting at.”
***
“Will you think about what I said?”
“You said a lot, doc.”
“About you calling Detective Kowalski Ray.”
“That’s my name, okay? I think he’s taken enough of my things so you think he could leave me my name? Don’t think it’s too much to ask.”
“Try speaking to him.”
“I don’t really like to speak to people.”
“You speak to me.”
“Not willingly, believe me.”
Not for Muse knowledge, obviously. Mun comments welcome if anyone is bursting to say anything.
(I've grown a strange kind of attatchment to Ray's shrink...I think that's a bad thing...)
