Women are from Venus

Why do women paint their toenails black? And I'm talking women here, not prepubescent teens going through their obligatory goth/punk phase. I'm talking early thirties, toes jet black and shiny like I'm lookin' at the finish on Kowalski's car.

I'm laying there with my face in the hole and she's slicking up her hands and I'm thinking, alright Ray, you've earned this, you deserve this, an hour of bliss. Soon as she touches me, God, it's heaven, I'm nearly asleep within ten minutes. Then she moves higher, starts workin' on my shoulder. It feels good, everything's fine until I open my eyes and suddenly, there, right there are her feet. Black nails!

Why?

Why? Answer me that.

And of course, after that all I could think about where her feet and it wasn't like I could move my head here, I had it in the hole, so I had to stare at them for the next fifty minutes and I swear I didn't feel another stroke after that. My hour of bliss, ruined.

I think I should ask for my money back.