SMAss (Save My Ass!) (c)

[r_vecchio]

Someone find me Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer on DVD. I'm stuck playing Mama&Papa Bear tonight and there's no way I'm gonna let myself be pricked to death again. My ass can't take it any longer. This donkey? HAS NO TAIL! Okay?

Comments

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Oh, gee, that's gonna come into a lotta use when I'm knee-deep in dinner and diapers.

Ah...um, one's a baby. One's four? I think? One's, Gee's five. And I think there might be one in the middle somewhere. Two or three years old. The older kids belong to my brother. Please don't ask me how old they are.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

..........I would be extremely worried if they did, man. I'm at the Canadian Consulate. Stealing internet time offa the Mounties. The kids, as far as I know it, are...being fed something. Somewhere. Nothing too sugary, I hope. Are you planning on tormenting me with hellish baby-sitting nightmares right up until I gotta heave myself outta the chair and go face them?

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Nah, I'm baby-sitting my sister's kids this evening. Maria's got them this afternoon, 'til she brings them home later. I got them seven onwards. Right now though, I'm uh...solving Canadian crimes. Yeah. In Canada. Liaising.

Hey, help me, Mick. Come entertain the little squirts. Two each - I like those odds better.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Uh huh. They're hideous, heinous crimes. Like, ah..like...yeah, they're hideous, heinous crimes, Mick.

Hell, I'd pay for you to do that. But I'm a little strapped for cash at the moment, so I can't really splash out. Three guys had it tough with one little lady though, I think I need more sympathy.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'll give you a ring if I survive the day. If I don't then uh, I dunno, give me a ring and when I don't pick up, alert the authorities.

I like how you think...