SMAss (Save My Ass!) (c)

[r_vecchio]

Someone find me Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer on DVD. I'm stuck playing Mama&Papa Bear tonight and there's no way I'm gonna let myself be pricked to death again. My ass can't take it any longer. This donkey? HAS NO TAIL! Okay?

Comments

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

*sulking* Yeah, what of it?

Anything, God, anything. It's either this and then Christmas stories, or I let them all loose on the internet again. But apparently, according to "Father of the Year" Mr Asher Childless McKidlessen, that's not good for them. Or safe. I forget what he said exactly.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Oh, gee, that's gonna come into a lotta use when I'm knee-deep in dinner and diapers.

Ah...um, one's a baby. One's four? I think? One's, Gee's five. And I think there might be one in the middle somewhere. Two or three years old. The older kids belong to my brother. Please don't ask me how old they are.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

..........I would be extremely worried if they did, man. I'm at the Canadian Consulate. Stealing internet time offa the Mounties. The kids, as far as I know it, are...being fed something. Somewhere. Nothing too sugary, I hope. Are you planning on tormenting me with hellish baby-sitting nightmares right up until I gotta heave myself outta the chair and go face them?

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Nah, I'm baby-sitting my sister's kids this evening. Maria's got them this afternoon, 'til she brings them home later. I got them seven onwards. Right now though, I'm uh...solving Canadian crimes. Yeah. In Canada. Liaising.

Hey, help me, Mick. Come entertain the little squirts. Two each - I like those odds better.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_classact_/]

I said allowing them on livejornal wasn't a good idea. I'm sure there are...kid friendly places on the net.... Not that I care.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Boom boom.........boom.

Hear that? That's my heart skipping a beat. Your concern is very touching, Ash. And I would allow them on the 'net to find those "kid friendly places," only, I have your journal sitting permanently at the bottom of my desktop and if they click on that, they'd see their Uncle Ray being less than uh, Uncle-y. And like you said, kids grow up fast nowdays.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_classact_/]

Less uncle-y and more net-stalker-esque? I like it.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Uh huh. They're hideous, heinous crimes. Like, ah..like...yeah, they're hideous, heinous crimes, Mick.

Hell, I'd pay for you to do that. But I'm a little strapped for cash at the moment, so I can't really splash out. Three guys had it tough with one little lady though, I think I need more sympathy.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Least I have good taste in who I stalk.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_classact_/]

Agreed.

[snoopypez.livejournal.com]

"Father of the Year" Mr Asher Childless McKidlessen

That.. is the best name I have ever seen.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Also makes him sound a little Dutch, no?

[snoopypez.livejournal.com]

I suppose it does!

Also: Tada!

;D

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Will you marry me?

[snoopypez.livejournal.com]

I just might! Hee.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

You want Asher as your flowergirl?

[snoopypez.livejournal.com]

I can honestly say that I would want nothing more.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Except me. And a three-way marriage.

[snoopypez.livejournal.com]

How do you know me so well??

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Because we're SOUL SISTERS!

[ooc: O_O]

[snoopypez.livejournal.com]

SISTERS?

_{wtf, Ray. XD Did Asher's gift make him lose his mind?}

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Uh, that came out wrong.

Okay, okay! Ask me the question again!

[ooc: Hahaha, Asher's gifts made him go O_O for quite a while. So maybe?]

[snoopypez.livejournal.com]

How do you know me so well??

_{[I love it. XD Is Ray gonna say anything to him about it? You know, at least for my entertainment? ;P]}

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

*nods wisely* Salmonskin roll. That's how. I mean, I mean, because we're meant to be. *amorous arm movement*

[ooc: No, Ray hasn't been watching Friends just because that's one of Asher's favoured shows. (I think). I'm sure there'll be SOME mentioning of it at some point. I was gonna do something tonight but by 9pm I was practically wiped so didn't have the energy. I know. Ray was as outraged as you probably are! :O XDXD]

[snoopypez.livejournal.com]

I accept either of those answers, actually.

_{[Unagi! XD And yes, I AM outraged! ;P You all should know by now that I require constant entertainment! Muhaha.]}

it's not a DVD, but...

[will-porter.livejournal.com]

It can be a hug instead :)

Re: it's not a DVD, but...

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Hell, no, gimme my kiss too! *presents his cheek*

[ooc: LMAO. That's so cool!! Virtual mistletoe FTW!]

Re: it's not a DVD, but...

[will-porter.livejournal.com]

Yay!! *gives him a smacking kiss on the cheek*


ooc: I love it!! Wes and Orli sent it to Will so he just had to assault tag his friends.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'll give you a ring if I survive the day. If I don't then uh, I dunno, give me a ring and when I don't pick up, alert the authorities.

I like how you think...

Re: it's not a DVD, but...

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Merry Nearly Christmas, Will.

Re: it's not a DVD, but...

[will-porter.livejournal.com]

Same to you, Ray. Got any exciting plans for the holiday?

Re: it's not a DVD, but...

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

I do actually. But I, uh, need to keep it y'know, under wraps. It's a surprise, for a friend.

Re: it's not a DVD, but...

[will-porter.livejournal.com]

Gotcha! Surprises are so cool!

Re: it's not a DVD, but...

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm hoping this one will be pretty special. You gonna be lounging on your private island over Christmas or spending it with family?

Re: it's not a DVD, but...

[will-porter.livejournal.com]

We'll definitely be staying on the island, for the pets if nothing else. We've got a friend flying up, but I'm not sure if he'll end up freezing his ass off and wanting to go home by Christmas.