Ding dong merrily on high, fa-la-la-la-la-laaaa-la

[r_vecchio]

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In November ynez_castillo and I robbed a bank (-50 points). In April I caught a purse-snatcher who stole will_porter's purse (30 points). In June I gave in_a_chinashop a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points). In August I bought porn for ray__k (-10 points). Last month I stole onewingbloody's purse (-30 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-65 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal! Sincerely, r_vecchio

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Coal? But I bought Kowalski porn... why's that a negative??

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_classact_/]

Well if you're gonna be that stupidly honest, then maybe you deserve the coal...

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Dear Asher,

Told you: burden.

But I'm guessing you're not gonna be writing to Santa any time soon, so you can have my coal.

With love and merriment,

Ray

[http://users.livejournal.com/_classact_/]

I'm allergic to merriment....

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Well, I wasn't about to write 'hugs' was I?

How 'bout cheer?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_classact_/]

Hey, you wrote 'love', so I don't know, were you?

That too.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Christmas is a time for lovin', Asher. And for merriment and cheer...

What would you prefer then?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_classact_/]

It's a time for corporate fat-cats to make a bundle and laugh at all the little people who find themselves in debt on December 26th.

The porno you apparently gave Kowalski? A pony...

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Lemme guess. You don't celebrate Christmas very often.

That I could arrange. Sorry, fresh outta ponies...

[http://users.livejournal.com/_classact_/]

No more or less often than the next person. It's still a once a year thing...right? But my assessment of the holiday is completely accurate.

You do that. Figures...

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

You get presents? Wrapped, I mean. And victims don't count.

Consider it done. Now all you gotta do it wait 'til Christmas. Yeah, sorry, should've put your order in earlier, Ash.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_classact_/]

Of course. Vampire, Ray. Not Jew. And why the fuck would I want a 'victim'? I think you've seen one too many bad vampire movies.

I can do that. ...-er

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

You really get presents? And you give them too? Jesus Christ, mental picture of you Christmas shopping with the masses.

Might've done. Victim, gift certificate for the blood bank, what’s the difference?

Are you sure? Yeah, like I'm gonna call you that when I know how much you love 'Ash.' What can I say, I like to give people what they want. But I still got no ponies.

[ooc:just to let you know i haven't forgotten abt the kowalski/boxing thread! im in the middle of writing the response! so cool!]

[http://users.livejournal.com/_classact_/]

It's not like I hit the Old Navy for their deals on performance fleece...

Uh... Definitely too many bad vampire movies.

Positive. I don't believe that.

[r-vecchio.livejournal.com]

Not helping the mental pictures here...

Y'know what? Just for you, I'll see what I can do on the pony front. Don't tell anyone though, I don't wanna be accused of favoritsim.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_classact_/]

...you're a strange, strange man, Ray.

My lips are sealed.